If the only certainty in life is change – you might as well be good at it!
Change can be very frustrating and unsettling. It rarely follows a straightforward path or linear progression. Full of stops, starts and detours, it can cause confusion, uncertainty, disappointments and emotional turbulence. Getting an easier ride through change depends on knowing how it ‘ticks’.
- Small is good. Breakthroughs and leaps forward are terrific when they occur. But mostly change is a bit of a slog, with one small step after the other.
- Timing matters. Sometimes, we might do everything ‘right’ and throw ourselves into the process with 100% commitment. Yet nothing happens, nothing seems to work out, as if stuck in mud or no wind for our sails. That’s where time comes in. Astrologers look to the stars to assess the right timing for taking action. Numerologists calculate numbers for the same reasons. You may not be inclined to that kind of thinking. But the fact remains that sometimes things move forward with speed and ease, and sometimes nothing shifts.
- Change demands letting go of the past. That does not mean forgetting or even forgiving. It also does not mean to deny what happened or how it was then. It means accepting the current situation as the new reality and turning to the future with its different options.
- Change is active. Sitting at home waiting for someone to come or something to happen will not do it.
- Change thrives on determination and persistence. Especially when the going gets tough or you need to pick yourself up after falling down.
- Change boosters are flexibility, lateral thinking, being bold and using all your resources.
- Change requires courage. To go beyond your comfort zone, face the unknown, risk ‘failure’ or the negative comments of others.
A special tip for changing yourself
External change often demands that we also change. In many cases such change occurs gradually just by dealing with the challenges. For example, going through a difficult illness, many people notice in themselves strengths and abilities they did not know they had. But you can also intentionally manifest change in yourself with the following meditation.
At a time when you can be quiet and undisturbed, sit or lie comfortably, perhaps with a candle burning and meditative music.
Search within yourself for a sense of who you want to be. Imagine or just think about that person. In your mind, see or think of yourself living, being and behaving as that person. What will you be saying to yourself, how will you feel? Imagine (or think about) many aspects of that future You. Create that new person in your mind. Make it as real as you can, as if it already exists.
As you come to the end, decide on a symbol representing that new You. Some people choose an animal, others choose a colour, or object – choose whatever has meaning for you.
Use your symbol in whichever way you find helpful. For example, put up a picture, write a story about what it means to you, remind yourself of it whenever you feel a bit shaky. Use it as your own guidepost to the future You!